Frustration is my Friend

Ever had a moment when you've heard someone talking about something that you've been through, but they're not telling it with the passion you feel about it?
That's my life.

I really should stop reading Blogs from other Salvo people, I invariably get fired up by the prophetic voices rising up all over the world, reminding us to chase after Holiness and save souls... Then I read comments under these passionate posts and get all dis-heartened by people who just don't seem to get it. Why???

It seems obvious to me that the Salvation Army has been called to a specific task and that we are an Army for a reason. We are not about pussy-footing around and people don't expect that of us. We radically challenge the status quo, we fight against injustice, against poverty, against oppression, against the evils that see people condemned to a life of hopelessness.... we preach the gospel whether the 'time is favourable or not', we get out into the community to make Jesus a recognisable face in our neighbourhood, we challenge the lost to give up a life of sin and despair to chase after radical holiness, we meet needs in the name of Christ, we work at actively seeing lives transformed by the power of the Cross!
...or do we?

I'd love to say yes.... but I believe there is more for us to experience in the work of reaching this world!
I'm completely unable to say no..... many saints are fighting to the end to see the lost won for Jesus! They're making headway in the Spiritual War... when will 'back-up' arrive? Will reinforcement troops join the fight alongside them? (are you one of them?)

I struggle with these feelings, you see as gung-ho as I am about getting a Spiritual Revolution underway, I can find complacency creeping in. Being a cadet is great, opportunities are around for ministry... but this is not the place God has called me to. I am not called to be a theological student, part-time cleaner, odd-jobs minister..... (although some may be).... I am called to be a no-holds-barred, passionate revolutionary, fighting to see the world won for Jesus.... to see his unending compassion raining down on the oppressed and down-trodden... to shine a light in this dark world... for my heart to break for God's children and each day to humbly walk the path of Jesus.... Full-time ministry won't come for me until after college, but there must be something I can do now... then again... We're stretched in so many different directions, could I handle 'one more' outreach project? (Lord, please make it 'yes'!)

Before I came into college, I was given a vision of a high white tower with eagles nesting in the rafters, babies being nurtured and pushed over the edge to learn how to fly. I saw also, a pegasus, able to walk within hours of birth, but for the pegasus, learning to fly meant running along the ground, stretching its' wings.... Both eventually fly... one in the seclusion of a tower, the other with feet steadily pounding the earth.

My heart longs for the earth, to feeling the dust rising behind me... to mix with the horses, the wild brumbies, and to teach them, that they too can fly.

The frustration for me is constant... want to be in the world - have to be apart... ergh!
The tension of this struggle is such that I am determined to hold onto the fire placed in me by the Holy Spirit, to tightly embrace the burden he has for me to promote a revolution, to learn and grow by the teaching of the Spirit, to feel the passion threaten to burst out of me! (Praise the Lord for Blogging, without it I would burst!). This struggle enables a refining of passion and calling, to be in the world serving in the name of Jesus. It hurts, but it's good. Frustration is my friend.

YOU CAN'T GET 'WHITE-HOT' WITHOUT BEING IN THE FIRE...