Equality of the sexes? where?

Here's a bit of 'holy-discontentedness':
Whats the deal with having an Army that supposedly supports equality of the sexes in Ministry, yet has a stand-alone Women's Ministry Department????
What about the men? Is there no Men's ministries? (don't try to argue the brass band line! Thats no longer acceptable!) Don't we care that men aren't being built up and discipled outside of 'banding' and leadership?

I propose that if we truly believe in equality of the sexes, we have equally-sized (staffed and funded) Men's and Women's Ministries departments (departments at THQ-level and positions at DHQ-level).

OR

We change 'Women's ministries' to 'Family ministries' and get some guys in...
Better yet, put Men's, Women's, Child Sponsorship, Playgroup ministries etc. into the Corps Programme Department (its logical!).
Then give the higher ranked Women Leaders positions that allow them to contribute to the leadership of the territory without a 'shadow' responsibility for Women's ministries.

I'm all fired up! how did we get to this place where the inequality was so blatantly obvious?
It's just not acceptable.

Come on women, step up and address this, and guys - get things happening!

I officially hate Reviews!

Can't write anything about how I actually feel.
But I came awfully close to throwing myself out a window... is that too much?
College is hard.
ERGH!


P.S. I now have the self-esteem of an ant who's just been squished.

Dear Lord, please do something with me, with college, with the Army - because you know nothing will change without you. Let it be.

With great Power...

I'm a bit of a perfectionist about my own stuff. I like everything I do to come out exactly the way I intend it. Now this is a bit of a problem when it comes to blogging... (already I've deleted the first paragraph four times and re-written it!).

You see, I'm not really sure my whole motivation behind blogging... its partly an outlet for my frustrations and passions, partly a way to be known, partly an offering of my 'stuff' as a gift, partly an opportunity to debate and share with people. A lot of the time I worry what people will think of what I say (considering the college thing), but what I also wonder is what God thinks of my blogging...

Because he knows which parts are deeply painful, which are soul-baring therapy, he knows the motivations that got me typing. God knows the difference between my holy discontentedness and my child-like whining. He recognises my pridefulness and my desperate hope to make an impact on the world.

I hope I am being real to God more than anything else, more than my fear of being judged and my fear of being less-than-perfect. But I am judged sometimes... I need to get over it - its what humans do, I'm not perfect at everything I do... and God's ok with that. He's especially ok with me being who he created me to be, me growing and stretching for him. And if blogging does that, perhaps he likes it after all.


(sdjkhkjhfuvuibfdf - this is me rebelling against perfection!)

How can a Po-mo live with Mo?

Are you Po-mo or Mo? how are you getting on with the transition?
I've recently been reading "Postmodernism and the Salvation Army" (TSA Triterritorial Theological Forum - AUS, AUE, NZ, FiJI & TONGA). In one chapter, it talks about how symbolism is a huge part of the Salvation Army's 'thing'. It says,
"Postmodernity.. offers a number of new opportunities for the Army to embrace. These include symbolism that is:

• less word, more visually centred;
• less cerebral, more exponentially based;
• less metanarrative, more personal narrative encouraged;
• less explanation, more mystery allowed;
• less formality, more play and artistic expression;
• less structure, more creativity;
• less order, more party celebration;
• less control, more transparency and vulnerability"

I can see these tensions playing themselves out in my life at the moment. The question I grapple with, is how can a postmodernist live with modernism? The answers?

• Become Modernist - let the system shape you
• Change others to Postmodernists - shape the system
• struggle somewhere in the middle - grapple with the issues, not let it take you over
• Give up - ignorance is bliss (yeah right)

I hope I'm a 'struggler', but sometimes think I might be a 'everyone needs to get with po-mo, NOW!' kind of person (maybe trying to make up for the Mo's dragging their feet!).

One more list of dot points for you.... about structures that will enrich the Army for the future.
"The institution that will work for us in the postmodern era is one that:

• thanks God for its potential contribution to renewal and mission;
• can distinguish between purpose and process;
• is strong on vision and mission while being relaxed about boundaries;
• holds itself up to scrutiny and acknowledges its own transitory nature;
• can laugh at itself;
• listens intently to those at the grass roots;
• is saturated by grace."

I think perhaps that last point holds some answers for Po-mo's and Mo's living in harmony and taking this transition on.... GRACE.
Lord send us more grace, we need it to remain united for your purpose - to be a SALVATION Army. Amen.

WAAAHHHH!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!! *sob* HELP US LORD!!!!

I'm in a ranting mood and I'm sitting at the computer crying because of the blogs I've just read. So much passion. A united groaning for the Army is being sent up... weeping, hurting people, in pain because God's vision weighs so heavily on them...

How can we have so many on-fire people in our Army, people with vision and passion and full of the Holy Spirit, people showing the Army God's way foward and putting their lives on the line to do it.... and yet the Army in the west continues to shrink and wither away before their eyes?

Why Lord??? How can it happen? How can the situation be so dire, yet I sit here in the library, in the college, crying, waiting for the day I can break out into your glorious mission, make the hard decisions to see more people saved, to see the church and your kingdom grow, to put it all on the line for you!!!??!!

Send your rain on us Father God, refresh us... make us green and alive!
Send your fire Holy Spirit, burn us up, consume the dross, leave us shining in your light
Send your blood Lord Jesus! wash us, purify us, make us holy through your sacrifice...

Perhaps I'm just being emotional.... perhaps I'm connecting with the pain I'm feeling for the lost.... whatever its for, it hurts, and it makes me want to do God's will, to cry out on behalf of our world, our Army and God's people.

Lord take these inner groanings, these unintelligible words, and through your love accept them as an offering... one of brokenness... send your mercy upon us Lord... revive us once again. Amen.

Frustration is my Friend

Ever had a moment when you've heard someone talking about something that you've been through, but they're not telling it with the passion you feel about it?
That's my life.

I really should stop reading Blogs from other Salvo people, I invariably get fired up by the prophetic voices rising up all over the world, reminding us to chase after Holiness and save souls... Then I read comments under these passionate posts and get all dis-heartened by people who just don't seem to get it. Why???

It seems obvious to me that the Salvation Army has been called to a specific task and that we are an Army for a reason. We are not about pussy-footing around and people don't expect that of us. We radically challenge the status quo, we fight against injustice, against poverty, against oppression, against the evils that see people condemned to a life of hopelessness.... we preach the gospel whether the 'time is favourable or not', we get out into the community to make Jesus a recognisable face in our neighbourhood, we challenge the lost to give up a life of sin and despair to chase after radical holiness, we meet needs in the name of Christ, we work at actively seeing lives transformed by the power of the Cross!
...or do we?

I'd love to say yes.... but I believe there is more for us to experience in the work of reaching this world!
I'm completely unable to say no..... many saints are fighting to the end to see the lost won for Jesus! They're making headway in the Spiritual War... when will 'back-up' arrive? Will reinforcement troops join the fight alongside them? (are you one of them?)

I struggle with these feelings, you see as gung-ho as I am about getting a Spiritual Revolution underway, I can find complacency creeping in. Being a cadet is great, opportunities are around for ministry... but this is not the place God has called me to. I am not called to be a theological student, part-time cleaner, odd-jobs minister..... (although some may be).... I am called to be a no-holds-barred, passionate revolutionary, fighting to see the world won for Jesus.... to see his unending compassion raining down on the oppressed and down-trodden... to shine a light in this dark world... for my heart to break for God's children and each day to humbly walk the path of Jesus.... Full-time ministry won't come for me until after college, but there must be something I can do now... then again... We're stretched in so many different directions, could I handle 'one more' outreach project? (Lord, please make it 'yes'!)

Before I came into college, I was given a vision of a high white tower with eagles nesting in the rafters, babies being nurtured and pushed over the edge to learn how to fly. I saw also, a pegasus, able to walk within hours of birth, but for the pegasus, learning to fly meant running along the ground, stretching its' wings.... Both eventually fly... one in the seclusion of a tower, the other with feet steadily pounding the earth.

My heart longs for the earth, to feeling the dust rising behind me... to mix with the horses, the wild brumbies, and to teach them, that they too can fly.

The frustration for me is constant... want to be in the world - have to be apart... ergh!
The tension of this struggle is such that I am determined to hold onto the fire placed in me by the Holy Spirit, to tightly embrace the burden he has for me to promote a revolution, to learn and grow by the teaching of the Spirit, to feel the passion threaten to burst out of me! (Praise the Lord for Blogging, without it I would burst!). This struggle enables a refining of passion and calling, to be in the world serving in the name of Jesus. It hurts, but it's good. Frustration is my friend.

YOU CAN'T GET 'WHITE-HOT' WITHOUT BEING IN THE FIRE...